A Day As Ichigo
by ErinTheSalsa
Summary: What of the poor yet amazing Kon? Why doens't he ever get any action? Well, what if he did?...... AS ICHIGO! Kon/Tats


Underappreciation. I hate it. Those lousy, no-good people think that they do everything on their own, and don't need to thank anyone who does them favors all the time. Those ungrateful terds! Well, I'll show them just how much their little group will fall apart when I just happen to go for a sudden and extended vacation!

The familiar beeping of Rukia's hollow monitor rang in the bedroom I loathed so completely. Perfect timing. A small ruckus could be heard in the hall, and once I knew they were no longer in the room, I creeped in the room, my sharp ninja skills a great help.

The window was wide open, and Ichigo's stinky and ugly curtains flapped in the wind coming from outside. What were they thinking? Someone could bust in that window after they had left and could have stolen everything! I jumped on the bed and shut the window tight. Now what would they do without me? I locked it, too, just for good measure. Gee, these guys really don't know what they have. But they will soon.

Ichigo's empty body was on the floor, face up, that perma-frown still attached to it. Man, does that guy have to lighten up. He scowls so much, he'll be scowling when he's dead! I reached for my ninja skills once more, and though I wanted to puke at the thought of it, I got into Ichigo's body.

It felt so heavy, compared to my gorgeous and perfectly petite body, which I placed neatly on the desk. I was about to walk of the door when I heard a voice.

"Onii-san!"

I knew that voice, the voice that struck fear into my very core, the voice that belonged to the menacing being that took such great pleasure in torturing the perfect and gracefully ones such as myself. I dove to the desk, reaching for my body with care. Regrettably, I had to stuff my perfection in a drawer of Ichigo's desk, and with haste. The instant I closed the drawer, the door to Ichigo's room opened, and _she_ walked in.

"Onii-san?" She tilted her head to the side, confused. Please, anyone with a brain can see through that little innocent act. "What are doing?"

"Uh, nothing. Just about to go out."

"Oh," she said, putting her head back. "Well, Tatsuki is here, just to let you know." She began to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" I called regrettably. "Why's Tatsuki here?"

Yuzu looked back, even more confused than earlier. "You should know. She said you two had some plans together." And with that, the demon in pink left.

Plans? Ichigo has plans? Who'd have thought that a stinky and ugly guy like him could have plans, and with a real live girl! I almost fell over, ready to laugh. But I held it in. Forget just leaving. I was going to get revenge this time.

I stomped down the stairs, a loud thud coming from underneath me. Man, did Ichigo need to lose a few pounds or what? Tatsuki stood in the living, dressed casually, and in her impatient stance.

"Took you long enough! Come on, we're going to be late!"

"Yeah, sorry about that." I smiled, trying to act as little as Ichigo as possible. Actually, I was acting like the cool and charming me. To help, I added a nice soft, "Baby."

Tatsuki, who had been heading out the door, whipped around faster than lightning. "What was that?"

Oh, so they weren't moving that fast. But then again, it's Ichigo. If he moved too fast, he would have gotten nausea and dumped a brown one in his tighty-whities. "What was what? I didn't say anything."

She looked at me warily, trying to see through th invincible shield of charm I had erected around myself. Finally, realizing that her effort was futile, she turned toward the door.

I followed her down the street, side by side. I must make conversation, in such critical a time. Silence means awkwardness, and awkwardness is not something that I do. It's simple unheard of for a mighty being such as myself to be awkward!

My mouth had opened, but all I had got out was, "Hey-" A large monkey-like creature, a dark blue color with a bright white mask and a giant hole in its chest hopped by in front of us, about two hundred feet ahead. It was immediately followed by another monkey-like thing with bright orange hair and a long sword. Running after the both of them was a lovely goddess unlike any other with the finest dark hair across the land. "-Let's go this way!" I grabbed Tatsuki's arm and ran down a street in the opposite direction I had seen Ichigo and Rukia run. If they saw me and my brilliant plan, my cover would be blown.

"Hey, wha- Ichigo, what are you doing?!" Tatsuki tried to shake her arm free, but I didn't let go.

"Just thought we could take a little detour is all."

After a few blocks, I stopped running, and had to wait for Tatsuki to catch her breath. When she did, I got right in front of her to say something, but she slapped my face before I could get a word out.

"Idiot!" she yelled.

"What, what?"

"You just took us in the complete opposite direction! Where do you think we're going?!"

"Well, I-I-"

"No, I don't wanna hear it! Come on, we better going, or else we really _will_ be late!" She started to stalk off in the direction we had just come.

A loud explosion came from somewhere off to my right, and I looked immediately. A large cloud of dust floated in the middle of the road about a hundred feet away. Of course, a large head of bright orange hair emerged from it, facing away from me, thank goodness. Nonetheless, escape was necessary.

"You're right!" I said, grabbing Tatsuki's hand this time, running to the left, taking the back roads and alleys. "We should get going!"

Despite her many yells, I continued to guide Tatsuki through the maze of alley ways of the town. After I felt I had put enough distance between Ichigo and I, I slowed, then stopped, right between several towers of stacked wooden crates. No one would be able to see us unless they walked right up next to us. Thank goodness, we would be secure here. And it was all thanks to my amazing stealth skills. No one would come across us here.

"Ichigo," Tatsuki said. I braced myself. She was probably going to slap me again, but at least it was Ichigo who would have to live with the bruises on his face. Hey, better his than mine. "What are you doing?" she asked, surprisingly calmly.

"Hm? Uh, well, I, uh, I-I-"

"Are you trying to take me somewhere other than the dojo?"

"Wha?"

"I mean, instead of going back to the old dojo to help sensei, you're trying to take me somewhere else, right?"

"Uh, right?"

"...I knew it." I tensed. Tatsuki got closer to me. I closed my eyes. I felt her hands grasp my neck. She was going to strangle me. She was so angry, she was going to kill me. Crap. I waited for the pressure to wrap itself around my neck, but instead, I felt Tatsuki's arms wrap around it warmly. Something soft and warm and delightful pressed against my lips, and I gazed through a crack in my eyes. Tatsuki...was..._kissing_ _Ichigo_?!?! ...It must have been my charm.

She back up, looking into my eyes. "I knew it," she said again.

"Knew-knew what?"

"You've been trying to take me somewhere private. You wanted me alone. You _like_ me." For the first time, Tatsuki actually looked feminine. I couldn't believe it. The karate champ, the tomboy, actually looked and acted like a girl. She was beautiful. She was gorgeous. She was _sexy_.

I felt her lips against mine once more, only it was different this time. _I_ was the one who had kissed _her_. Forgive me if it was wrong, but I felt compelled to do it. She reacted, and it grew intense, and I mean intense. Even The Perfect I had trouble keeping my cool. It was hot, passionate, and spontaneous, just the way I liked it.

A hot bubble wrapped around us. The old and moth-ball-scented crates melted away and we just floated in the moment, the only things around were us.

The sun began to set as we parted ways, sadly. I walked down the street, nearing Ichigo's house, reflected on my actions and the current events. Was I wrong? No, it couldn't be. If one of was wrong, it was Tatsuki. She was tempted by my charm, and caving into temptation is like a sin, right? Tsk, tsk, dear Tatsuki. But still, maybe it wasn't that bad of a choice. Maybe it would be okay for me to worship two goddesses?

Speaking of goddesses, before I even got in to the house, I found the petite Rukia standing out front in her powerful stance, arms crossed and head held high. "Kon..." she said lowly. She acknowledged me! I wanted to run to her, but didn't. The vulgar voice of Ichigo rang out, "KON!"

As pain began to cover me anywhere Ichigo dared to punch his own body, I wondered with a smirk how embarrassed he would be when he found out what happened with my new Karate Goddess. Oh, how my charm never fails.


End file.
